


aftermath

by cricketofthedead



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Dysphoria, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Unintentional Transphobia, abuse mention, abusive parents mention, angst with a slightly happier ending, but he really didnt know??, everyone needs a gwen to take care of them tbh, good friend gwen, highkey this fic is just suffering tbh, it isnt graphic, it wasnt really his fault tbh, max said something hurtful, mentions of EDNOS, self harm/self harm mentions, self hatred, slightly transphobic comments, trans!david, transphobic parents, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:18:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cricketofthedead/pseuds/cricketofthedead
Summary: max says something to david that probably was more hurtful than he had intended it to be.trans!david vent fic (please dont read if youre easily triggered by the tags, this is a really upsetting vent fic tbh bc im still unhappy)





	aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> FRIENDS!!
> 
> if you are suffering from depression/anxiety/dysphoria/self harm/anything else described in the tags/this fic, you are not alone!! feel free to reach out to me on my instagram (keytodingo), my pinterest (theblackdingo) or my vent (keytodingo) if you need someone to listen or give (shitty) advice!! please stay safe friends ♡ and please dont read this if you feel as though it might bring up bad feelings/trigger you!!

_"David, you scream like a fucking girl."_

 

David flinched as the comment echoed around in his mind. He was standing, shirtless, in front of a mirror, staring at his pale reflection. The well-worn binder adorning his chest had been on for at least eleven hours now, and it had started to hurt at four. But he had to keep it on. It was the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment. Max almost certainly hadn't meant for the comment to dig so deeply, but he also didn't know that David was trans. David felt the pain in his ribs sharpen as he took a shaky breath.

 

_A fucking girl._

 

David remembered the first time he had felt like perhaps he wasn't the girl his parents wanted him to be. For years, he had had long, thick, red hair, but with thick hair came unruly tangles. And with unruly tangles came the unwillingness to brush one's hair. David had gotten sick of it one day and had cut it all off with his plastic safety scissors. He had looked into the mirror and had been satisfied with the result of his untrained snipping. His parents, however, had been mortified when he came out of his room, long, red curls gone, scattered across the floor of his bathroom. His father had been furious, shouting that it 'made him look like a little hoodlum boy!' David had rolled his eyes at the time, but couldn't ignore the strange feeling of elation that fluttered in his chest.

 

_"Why would you cut your beautiful hair, Denise?!"_

 

His mother's distressed voice echoed in his ears, and David inhaled sharply as his dead name was accidentally pulled from his memories, bringing fresh tears with it. His reflection became blurry as tears started rolling down his cheeks once again and David choked back a sob. Of course she had been disappointed. Why would she not be? Her only daughter, turning out to be a son. She never voiced her disappointment, but David could see it, as clear as day, in the expression on her tired face. He remembered her clearly, shaking, scared, as her husband yelled at David, insisting that he had no son, and that his daughter was not to keep up this charade, and would not tell the children or counselors at camp of this nonsense. His father insisted that they would not discuss it again.

 

_"You are a girl, Denise! You'll always be my daughter!"_

 

David looked down from his sad reflection to his ruined wrists. Scars that ran this way and that littered the undersides of his pale, freckled forearms, reminders of the pain he had suffered by his own hands. Pain he truly believed he deserved. Most were small, peppering themselves across his delicate wrists, horizontal and sharp. Some scars grew over others, small, white lines overlapping one another. David forced himself to look away, flinching as he caught his own gaze in the mirror once again. Pale. Thin, almost painfully so. Covered in scars and freckles and bruises from various camp activities. He was an absolute mess. Of course Max had pointed out that he screamed like a girl. Max could probably tell that he wasn't right. They all could probably tell. David felt his breath quicken, but didn't even try to slow himself down. 

 

_Panic. You deserve it. You deserve the awful things that have happened to you. You deserve those scars, those reminders that you weren't good enough, that you still aren't. Why don't you just end it already, Deni-_

 

David's thoughts came slamming to a halt as he felt a hand gently touch his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see Gwen's reflection joining his own. He felt tears well up again, and he sniffed before finally breaking and letting his sobs out. Gwen rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, and for once, she was the one who wrapped her arms around David's thin shoulders, pulling him closer and running her fingers through his short, red hair. David wailed into her shoulder, feeling as though he had let her down, let himself down, by being sad. Gwen simply let him cry, occasionally whispering that it would all be okay, that he would be okay. 

 

Once David had calmed down enough to speak, he let everything spill to his co-counselor. About Max, about his parents, about his depression and dysphoria and self hatred. He vented everything to her, and she listened, nodding occasionally as she took everything in. After he had finished, she wrapped him in a tight hug once more, and told him to wait a second. He did as he was told, wiping some of the tears from his face as Gwen rummaged through his drawers in the other room. She returned with a clean camp shirt, and handed it to him.  
"You need to change out of your binder. I know it sucks, but you're going to bruise up your ribs, David." She spoke softly, as if she was scared that saying the wrong thing might break him. He opened his mouth to object, but shut it again, knowing that she was right, and that his ribs ached terribly. Gwen stepped out of the room as he changed. As much as David hated being without his binder, he had to admit that the feeling of pressure on his chest had been awful, and he was slightly relieved at the feeling of taking away the compression. He pulled the baggy t-shirt, one he usually used for sleep, as Mr. Campbell had given it to him a while ago when David had neglected to pack pajamas for the summer, over his head and called to Gwen softly that she could come in again. Gwen opened the bathroom door, and reached out for David to grab her hand. David obliged, lacing their fingers together, and allowed Gwen to lead him to his bed where she tucked him in and kissed his forehead, almost like she had done with Max one time when he had a nightmare. David smiled weakly and closed his eyes, falling asleep to the feeling of Gwen's thumb rubbing circles into his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> im a transguy with a lot of feelings that i like to project onto my favorite characters. also fuck that one youtube video that is like "um david isnt trans hes just a feminine dude like jeez let dudes be feminine" hell yes im all for feminine dudes but listen: let me rub my trans little fingers all over my favorite characters. it helps me vent and cope and theres literally no reason people cant just let trans people headcanon their favorite characters to be like them like jfc. just bc it isnt ur personal headcanon doesnt mean you have to make a whole rant video and call people stupid cunts for saying davids trans. just let me do my ***completely harmless*** headcanoning okay dude thanks


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